Twenty-One

I recently celebrated my twenty-first birthday. Apparently this is an age in many countries and cultures where you are considered fully adult and are allowed to do all things in life from kinky sex to standing for political office. Well, I’m quite well schooled in the first of those things so maybe it’s time to start experimenting with politics!

Like many people in these strange times, I celebrated my birthday in the middle of lockdown. I was able to have a few socially distanced drinks with some neighbours and friends but the closest I could get to Lou Lou and my family was on a computer screen via zoom. Birthdays are important to Satanists for philosophical reasons but since I have been ‘adulting’ for quite a while already, the actual 21 landmark didn’t make much difference to me. More important personally was the fact that it is also the two year anniversary of getting together with Lou. And thus it was sad in a way that we couldn’t be physically closer.

Many people within the lifestyle I associate with take a very liberal and rebellious view of the current Covid restrictions. Lou and I have been tempted and yes, on a few occasions over the past year, we have enjoyed ourselves in ways that probably (certainly) flout some regulations. However, in the main, we don’t have the luxury of sticking our heads in the sand and pretending everything is normal. Lou works as a nurse in a Covid ward where the numbers of sick and dying patients are still increasing. To live in a dreamworld of conspiracy theories in which covid isn’t happening and vaccines are bad, would be an insult to the hard work people like Lou Lou do every day and also an insult to science and intelligence generally. We are not that delusional or immature so generally we obey the law and keep within the restrictions imposed in the countries we live in. If more people did that, the pandemic would be over sooner and we could all once again start to enjoy the freedoms we are currently missing. Okay, lecture over!

So, at present I am studying in Vienna and Lou Lou is working in Berlin. There are restrictions in both countries which have kept us physically apart for many months. It is strange to think that by this stage most of our relationship has been conducted online. It was such a physical and visceral thing in the beginning…

(Pause for happy x-rated thoughts)

Lockdown has perhaps forced us to be creative in ways of pleasuring ourselves and each other. It has also forced us to appreciate each other in different ways which has made the intellectual and spiritual/romantic side of our relationship stronger and more important. It has occurred to me that some relationships never reach that stage…

We both look forward to a time when nightclubs reopen and we can get back to enjoying our hedonistic lifestyles to the full. But when that happens there will be something else between us that might not have been there were it not for these strange times.

We started this blog to write primarily about sex and libertine lifestyle, but due to Covid there hasn’t been much to write about lately. This post is really just an appreciation of two years with Lou-Lou. She has made me better, happier and more secure. Through her I got involved in a lifestyle that seemed made for me but which I didn’t really know existed before.

Love you Lou-Lou! ❤️
Happy Birthday Me! 🖤

Sex As Part Of Life

We wanted to address a few points that came up in the comments.

We knew form the beginning that two women writing about sex and sexuality could be seen in the wrong way and attract the wrong kind of audience. It troubled us and still does. We continue to do it because we think it should be done; because the pressure to not talk openly about such things is a type of censorship. We write about sex as part of life because it IS part of life and is important to most people even if they don’t have very active sex lives themselves. Our purpose in writing is to help demystify things and open the door to speaking about this subject in an open honest way.

I suppose some people will use the term slut to describe us. That says more about them than it does about us. WE hate those kind of definitions. Usually they are used by people who have big hang-ups’ and are insecure about their own sexuality. We are women who enjoy sex. There is only one word for that, and that is HUMAN.

Sex is the topic of this blog but it is not the only thing in our lives. I could blog about nursing or medical matters. Leonie could blog about animals and conservation. We could both blog about art and music, about nightclubs and country walks, about books and wine, about travel or the places where we live. We are intelligent women with knowledge and experience of many things. Like many intelligent women; the girl next door or the President of a company…we also enjoy sex and have learned about how to enjoy it in the same way some people learn to enjoy the finer points of wine.

So a little more about us. We love each other and have an open relationship. We don’t call ourselves lesbians. We like having sex with men also. For myself, in romantic relationships I think I need another woman in my life. I have had conventional boyfriend and girlfriend relationships. For me sex is an important aspect of a romantic relationship but sex is not at all confined to romance. I have only been in love a few times but I have slept with a lot more people. I don’t think I’m unique in that. Leonie is similar. I would say she is slightly less on the lesbian part of the scale than I am. We both consider ourselves bisexual and we think there are specific issues faced by bisexuals. We are aware that speaking about our lesbian or bisexual experience can attract the wrong kind of readers; but like I said before, we don’t want to be silenced by the stupidity and smallness of some people’s minds.

We look at porn. Some of it we like, some of it we don’t. But we admit that porn is often pleasurable to us and to a lot of other people. Our concerns about porn are about the welfare and willingness of the participants. We don’t mind it being kinky or hardcore, but we do mind about how free and healthy the performers are. We think that porn serves a purpose for some of us who are sexually active and also for a lot of people who for many reasons are not as sexually active as they would like to be.

However, what we are doing here, what we are writing about, is not porn; it is life experience and is intended to make people think about sexually related topics. It is not intended to get people’s juices flowing. There might sometimes be an overlap, there might not be. One of the things about sex is that just reading, writing or thinking about it can have physiological effects. That’s part of being human.

Not everyone has a great sex life. Not everyone has a happy love life. Some people are lonely. Some people are limited by the norms and expectations of the people around them. Some homosexuals live in countries where they could be ridiculed, shunned or even killed just for being themselves. That is why we think it is important for those of us who are lucky enough to be who we are without too much prejudice, to speak out. We are the normal ones. The haters are the bad ones.

We are not saying that sex is the only important, or even the most important thing. Many people can be happy without it. Many important relationships can happen without it. Love can happen without it.

But neither is sex unimportant. For me it helped me to gain confidence in myself and overcome some of the issues and anxieties I grew up with. For many people it is a special and very enjoyable aspect of life. It should not be a taboo subject.

Maybe one of the themes of the last century has been about people claiming their rights and respect. We want to be part of that movement. We will try. If nobody is interested or if only the wrong kind of people are interested, we will end this blog. But until then, we will try.

Extra part by Léonie

This seemed to fit here. Lou-Lou and I met at the Kit Kat Club in Berlin. We have a lot of friends there. One of our closest friends there is a guy we shall call George. He doesn’t look like the kind of person who would fit in to a place like that. He is not into the kinky aspects the club is famous for. He describes himself as asexual. He dresses conservatively in comparison to most of the members. I’ve never seen him dance. He just sits with a drink and talks to anybody who talks to him. His passion is painting. He mainly paints imaginary landscapes. Sometimes he shows his painting. He has many friends in the club and Lou and I are happy to be especially close to him. One day he confided in us that before he started coming to the club he was very depressed and lonely and had contemplated suicide. At the club he found people who were famed for being hedonistic and very sexual. What he actually found were people who were kind and welcoming and who accepted him for who he was. He is part of our scene and we are part of his. He has found a love that satisfies him. Not all love is sexual.

This blog is as much about accepting ourselves and other people as it is about sex. That is the heart of the matter really.

Stay safe and take care of yourselves. 🖤

Alternative Valentines

This is a short message of love to all those who are single or who are in unconventional relationships.

Love and take care of yourself.

Honour your own truths and feelings.

Don’t be restricted by other people’s beliefs or expectations.

If you have a partner, love them as they love to be loved.

If you have more than one partner, share your love and respect as fully and equally as you can.

If you have no partner love yourself fully and let your love shine on whoever you choose.

Sex Test

So this is the first post on this blog written by me. My writing in English is not so good as Leonie so please forgive me. But it is a good experience for me to improve my English so I will continue.

Leonie and I both did an online sex test. It is just a bit of fun, not too serious but we thought we would share some of our results as a bit of an introduction.

You can find the same test we did here. (Actually, no you can’t. Since we did this test about ten days ago the site seems to have been taken down. We will no doubt link to other tests in future blog posts)

So, here are our results…

Although we both switch roles often, I came out as 57% Submissive whereas Leonie was 55% Dominant. I guess that is true. In my work life I have a lot of responsibility and have to make a lot of decisions so when I’m relaxing (and sex is the most relaxing thing for me) I like to let go and let the other one(s) have control. Not always but often. I also like the little feeling of danger that comes from giving control away, which turns me on. In line with my overall Submissive sexual nature I scored highly as a masochist and restrainee (74 and 80%). I can tolerate some pain and quite enjoy finding and pushing my boundaries in that area. However, apart from a few scratches and rope burns I don’t like anything which leaves long lasting marks on me. I do really like being tied up in new and interesting ways; this is really a big thing for me at the moment.

Just in case it needs to be said, the things listed above (and I imagine all things we will speak of in this blog) are only okay when I give my consent. I have to consent to be submissive with each person, each time. Otherwise, if anyone so much as touches my skin without me fully consenting first, they will suffer badly. I think this is a theme we will probably speak of often in these pages… In all forms of sex (not just the BDSM aspects) everything must be safe, sane and consensual. In 2021 there is no excuse for being any other way. Also, whatever roles you are playing in the moment it has to be fully understood that all the people involved are equal in value and should be treated with respect.

Leonie is a little bit more the dominant one sexually. Maybe it is because of her name which means Lion! In the time that we have been together I have seen her grow more into this role and I find it satisfying. She does have some masochistic tendencies, but lower than mine on the test 53%. Yes, we both enjoy some aspects of bondage and switch roles often but Leonie is a little bit more comfortable in the role of restrainer than restrainee. She scored 51% sadist in the test, and just occasionally lets that part of her come out to play…

Neither of us like the roles we play sexually to go through to other parts of our lives. One of our friends is a complete submissive and enjoys playing that part in all aspects of her life. Her partner is a dominatrix in all aspects of their lives and keeps our friend as a kind of pet. Both of them are happy and satisfied with this arrangement. I understand that this kind of relationship works well for some people and as long as everything is consensual I have no problem with it. I think people should do what makes them happy. However, I could never imagine Leonie or I in that kind of relationship and it is not a lifestyle that would turn either of us on. To be honest, I think it can be dangerous; but each to their own…

Leonie and I both scored very low on monogamy, (19 and 23%). I think the percentages are a bit silly but it is true. Personally I just have never thought that one type of relationship with one person should prevent you from having a similar or different relationship with another. I think we should be moving away from the idea of ownership, of claiming other people as our own. And also in pure sex I sometimes just like being with more than one person at a time. Therefore I don’t want to lie to my partner about it. Leonie has a similar way of thinking. But both of us would also agree that these things are flexible and there can be times when our needs and feelings will change. In the meantime, the fact that Leonie and I also sleep with other people does not mean we love or care for each other less. Actually it helps us to understand each other and it makes our sex lives much better. It also gives us a lot to talk about.

I suppose the fact that we are writing this blog is proof that we are both exhibitionists! (We both scored over 70% for this aspect). We met in the Kit Kat Club where we were both dancing half naked in front of hundreds of others. And of course the clothes we were wearing were mainly fetish gear advertising our tastes and our lack of inhibitions. This is part of who we are. We are lucky that there exist places like Kitty where we can express ourselves freely. Sadly, because of Coronavirus, Kitty is closed at the moment apart from some online activities. I hope they survive and our favourite venue comes back to real life. Neither of us are embarrassed by nakedness or by being interested in sex. Allowing people to see glimpses of us as sexual creatures is something we like. In a way this blog is like a psychological version of dancing naked; we are giving people little snippets of our sex lives. In reality we don’t give much away, but it is enough to get people interested. I suppose it is a kind of power game that we both enjoy.

We both scored highly in the 60s and 70s for voyeurism as well. I think it comes from basic curiosity. We both like to know and see how other people enjoy themselves sexually. And between ourselves, with each other, this feeling is intensified. Perhaps related to this we both enjoy porn… For me it is a turn on and sometimes educational. It gives me ideas.

It is not really a factor in the test but we are both bi or pansexual. I think it is something that was always obvious to both of us. We both lost our virginity to men first but since then our lovers have been roughly equally divided between men and women. I have also had a transexual lover. We are both most happy in the company of people who are not shy of their sexual identity (whatever it is) and even in simple everyday activities like visiting a café or going to the shops we tend to go around with people like that.

People like us.

So that was my first post in this blog. Really just a little more of an introduction. We would like to hear your thoughts, your comments, your suggestions and your questions about sex lives in the 2020s. Please remember this is a blog to talk about things, it is not a place to share porn. (There are plenty of other places where we can do that)! 😉

Take care and stay safe. Being sexually active or interested does not mean being stupid in dangerous times. Believe me, I’m a nurse! Be grown ups. 😉

A cookery blog of sex

People Like Us, as the title implies is a blog for people like us whose sex and romantic lives don’t conform to conventions.

For too long sex has been treated as a forbidden, taboo subject. These days there are some bloggers, vloggers, writers, influencers and presenters who are starting to talk about sex in an everyday way, but there are not enough. We are going to add to the number and hope to encourage more to join. We DON’T start from the assumption that deep down everybody wants to be in committed two person partnership that leads to children and family life. We want to celebrate the range and diversity of sexuality and sexual relationships that people like us can enjoy.

Why do we say a cookery blog of sex? Well, sex is a bodily function just like eating. At a base level we need both to exist. We need to ingest and digest food everyday in order for our bodies to survive and we need sex for our species to survive. But of course we know that both food and sex are about a lot more than just survival. They can also be about enjoyment. And unless you are greedy or have a psychological disorder there is nothing wrong with enjoying them fully.

There is a whole industry about food, cooking and eating. Food and cookery-shows dominate many TV schedules, books about food growing, preparation, cooking and eating make up large sections of bookshops and libraries. We actively encourage people to try new things in food, to develop wider tastes, to learn and experiment… We are saying the same should be true about sex.

There are some religious traditions and taboos concerning food, but nobody assumes those traditions and taboos should apply to everybody. We don’t all have to confine ourselves to Halal or Kosha food just because ‘some’ people do. There can be ethical discussions about vegetarianism and veganism but apart from a few extremists, not many people prohibit discussion about the pros and cons of any particular diet. Rather, reams and reams are written about how to get the best out of the style of food you prefer and enjoy. We think sex should be written about in the same way.

Of course, we know that there are all sorts of religious rules and taboos attached to sex which have been passed down the generations. We think most of those rules are archaic and ridiculous. We do not live our lives according to such ancient, outdated and irrelevant beliefs and this blog is not intended for people who do. If you are likely to be offended, you should leave, nobody is forcing you to stay.

We want this blog to serve a similar purpose to cookery blogs. We want to teach you how to prepare various sensual delights… How to spice up things you are used to… We want to answer questions about common interests and problems… We want to suggest new sexual recipes… We want to tell you how to get the best of various ingredients and how to find them… We want to interest you in things you haven’t yet tried. We want to suggest tools you could use and teach you how to care for them. We also want to share stories and recipes with our readers and let our readers share things with us. We also want to have a good laugh about mistakes we have made and see if we can learn anything from them.

And who are we to be giving advice? There will be more info on our “About Us” page but in short; we are two women in our twenties; a nurse and a veterinarian student. We are a bisexual couple in an open relationship. We don’t have any degrees or qualifiactions in sex, but we do have a fair amount of experience! 😉

We are hoping people will ask questions and suggest things for us to research and write about. We will try to organise readers questions in a more orderly way at some point but for now feel free to ask questions in the comments section below.

While we both enjoy many forms of pornography and are not shy about it, this blog is not the place to publish or share pornographic images. Anyone who tries to leave such material here will be deleted and banned. (We will put some suggestive and erotic images in some of our posts but will try not to include anything which breaks WordPress rules).

We are bisexual and we welcome readers and comments from all parts of the LGBTQ+ spectrum. While we might dicuss some topics which are a bit controversial inside and outside the LGBTQ+ community; we will not allow any prejudice or hate speech in this blog. It is a safe space where all friendly adults are welcome.

We hope you find your time here interesting and entertaining.

Stay safe and have fun!

A New Direction

After nearly three years of Femme Diabolique, I feel that my blog needs a change of direction and a new focus. It began as a place to express myself as a young Satanist starting university life. A lot has changed since then including nearly a year living in the shadow of Covid 19.

What has not changed are my spiritual/philosophical beliefs. Of course my beliefs and ideas evolve over time, but I am still a Satanist and that is very important and fundamental to me. However, from now on any posts I write specifically on that subject will appear in my family’s Devil’s Advocates blog.

My studies continue, albeit mostly online and from home at the moment. I am hoping that university life will return to normal later in the year. This is especially important at the moment because I have to finalise and organise where I will go for at least one semester abroad as an intern on a conservation project. When that finally happens I might start a new blog (more likely a vlog) about my travels and adventures. But that is for the future…

When I started this blog I was in a relationship with a guy who was also a Satanist. That relationship came to an end soon after I began uni, and I had a period of enjoying the single life. Then I went to Berlin, discovered the Kit Kat club, met a girl who I am now in an open relationship with, overdosed on hedonism and changed… In some ways it was as if the intellectual Satanist within became a very physical Satanist. I felt as if I had become fully me for the first time.

Louise and I are still a couple, despite all the covid related difficulties of rarely being physically together. Most of the time she is in Berlin while I am in Vienna. Of course our relationship is not conventional. Our relationship is open. We are both bisexual. We both have darker tastes and enjoy the kinky side of life. But despite all the temptations we fully indulge in, and all the problems caused by the pandemic, we are still together and we have a stronger connection and understanding than I have experienced with any other lover.

Thus my next blog project (the blog that this one will morph into) will not just be mine, it will be ours. But what should we write about?

We are both interested in the environment and conservation, but there are a lot of blogs about that already and we don’t want to get bogged down in scientific discussion during our time off… We want to do something more fun. We met at the Kit Kat Club in Berlin and thought of writing something about “Kitty” lifestyle, but there are already people doing that (Some of them our friends). Music, yes but there are so many people writing about that. Louise is a nurse and I think more should be written about that but I don’t think I could contribute much. I could write about wildlife and conservation but Louise wouldn’t have much to add… The solution in the end was obvious, but maybe a bit controversial… We will write about sex.

Even in this blog up to now I have found more and more that I tend to write about sex. I am always astounded that so few other people are saying things which are obvious to me. Times have changed and people are less shy and more open about their sex lives these days; but there are still taboos to be broken down and grey areas that people have questions about.

Louise and I are sexually active in an open and modern way. We enjoy talking about sex and have a fair amount of experience to base our opinions on. We both often get asked questions by people who are unsure about various things, so part of what we want to do is answer more people’s questions and give opinions and advice if we can… Louise is a nurse and can bring a healthy, safe sex perspective to things. We want to write about things in a fun and open way that could be helpful or even educational to others.

It will probably be quite explicit at times. We are not shy about that but I realise that this is not necessarily what a lot of my regular followers at Femme Diabolique tune in for. For those who like my posts about Satanism, please do continue to follow me at Devil’s Advocates. For those who are not interested in my new direction, thank you for reading and supporting me up till now and I hope we meet again some day. And for those who stick with me, I hope you enjoy the new direction.

Over the next few days Louise and I will be working on some cosmetic changes to this blog and trying to decide on a name change. Then we will be back in the same place on the same channel but with a different theme.

We hope to see you there. 😉