Thank The Devil

I thank The Devil for all his blessings.

I think The Devil for giving me the confidence to be myself .

I thank The Devil for allowing me to use my brain, to ask questions, to evaluate answers and not accept anything just because most people do.

I thank The Devil for enabling me to be rebellious when necessary.

I thank The Devil for making me curious.

I thank the Devil for losing my ignorance.

I thank The Devil for science and for the scientific method. I thank The Devil for wanting to know  and experience more.

I thank The Devil for magic, the ability to channel my knowledge and power.

I thank the Devil for the support and guidance of my Satanic family and friends.

I thank The Devil for helping me to accept and value the darkness within me, as well as the light, so that I can learn, grow and progress in a balanced way.

I thank The Devil for shining in music, art and culture.

I thank The Devil for all the knowledge my mind is capable of knowing and for all the pleasures my body is capable of experiencing. I thank him and her for allowing me to taste the fruit of the tree of knowledge and for all the sins I enjoy.

I thank The Devil for being there and being visible to those who have open minds.

I thank The Devil for being in my heart and for making me, me.

Hail Satan!

Applying Satanic Principles to Life with Coronavirus

This is probably going to be a longish post. You don’t have to read it all at once; you don’t have to read it at all if you don’t want!

Due to the lockdown and the interruption to my university course, I have had more time to write in my blog during the last few months than ever before. But as the days and weeks stretched on, without any meaningful end in sight I found I had nothing to say. To be honest, what I have realised now is that I was sinking into confusion and even depression. So I need to say something about that first.

The Corona-crisis has had a bad effect on many people’s mental health. Mine too. Nothing too serious, but yes, I was affected negatively. I lost focus. I felt quite desperate. I felt I had lost my way and life had lost it’s meaning. I felt lonely despite being with the most caring family in the world. I become lazy. Worried. Unhappy. Anxious. I even felt something I have never really felt before; guilt. I felt guilty because I am an extremely privileged person in a relatively safe environment and so I had no right to feel worried or unhappy. I felt guilty because the things I missed the most were the hedonistic pleasures I had enjoyed during the year before the virus and it seemed wrong to mourn the passing of things that would seem trivial, frivolous and decadent to most people. I have, in effect; two, perhaps even three homes in Vienna, Zurich and Berlin, no financial worries and good health so I felt guilty for feeling sad and depressed when I know for sure there are millions of people in much, much worse situations than me. Mine were first world problems to be sure. I felt I had no right to be depressed, and that made me more depressed. Slowly, without even noticing it at first,  I began to withdraw more and more into my comfortable little room at my mother’s house. Doing nothing.

Satanism became an abstract idea. Something I had been interested in. Something that had been a part of me but which seemed out of place in the new, post covid, reality.

What I needed was, as Mother Cassie put it, “A kick up the arse!” Well, that came partly through Cassie herself and most of all from my biological mother Sophie who seemed to stay more centred than the rest of us all through the lockdown. I won’t go into all the details but it ended up with me looking freshly at what Satanism is about and with Sophie putting me on a train to Berlin and telling me to “Go fuck your girlfriend and whoever else you want instead of fucking up your life!”

Before going on to the next part I want to say something more about depression. My case was not that serious and my solution seems to work for me but I am not sure it would be helpful to all people. Coronavirus has forced us all to change our lives radically, to spend a lot more time isolated from friends and family, to find other things to do outside our normal work or studies. For some it means being trapped with people they don’t want to be with, such as abusive partners, for some it means unemployment and poverty. And around all of this and the many other changes we are adapting to there is the fear of the virus itself and what it could do to us or our loved ones. We are all vulnerable to anxiety, depression and mental health problems at this time and we need to be considerate of that and look out for each other. I think more people might have problems with their mental well-being during this crisis than the number of people who are infected by Covid itself. Let’s be nice to each other.

For me the answer was in Satanism. In going back to the basics and in being honest about who and what I am. For the past few months I had been caught in the trap of being sensible, intelligent and scientific. All very good things, and very Satanic; but there is more to Satanism than that. There is a balance to be had. It is just as bad to be hung up on one side of the balance as it is on the other. All darkness and no light isn’t healthy but nor is all light and no dark. In my case after a year of fairly unrestained sex, drugs and partying there followed a strict lockdown in which I obayed all the rules but allowed myself no fun at all. All I did was focus on depressing scientific facts about the virus that was destroying the life I had before, and trying to be excessively sensible in order not to catch or pass on the virus.

I am something between a Theistic Satanist and a modern, atheistic Satanist. A strange combination, but that is how I am! I tend to refer back to LaVey’s simple statements as a starting point for my beliefs. The first statement says “Satan represents indulgence rather than abstinence.” Pair that with the 8th statement which says “Satan represents all the so called sins as they lead to physical, mental or emotional gratification.”  In short, Satanisnts are hedonists because we recognise hedonism as a path to personal growth and fulfillment in terms of knowledge and pure good health. I believe that. I need the hedonistic side to be complete and balanced. It doesn’t mean it is “only” about hedonism, but it does mean that as a Satanist I recognise the benefits of those parts of life and am not ashamed of it. The question of course is how to enjoy those aspects of life and live as fully as possible in the context of a global virus that attacks us at exactly those points where we socially and physically interact with each other? The simple answer is, “carefully”. However the answer is certainly not to ignore those aspects of life completely.

The first “sin” that LaVey mentions is “Stupidity.” Lavey warns in particular about the stupidity of herd mentality and the danger of following the media blindly. In the context of Coronavirus I believe this means questioning a lot of what we are told and going back to the science as much as possible. I don’t go for conspiricy theories. I am not an anti-vaxer. I do believe we have to take extra care with hygiene, reduce social interractions to some degree, keep a social distance in public places, wear a face covering when necessary, observe lockdowns when there is a big outbreak in our area, subscribe to track and trace programmes and self isolate and get tested if there is any sign we might have caught it. We also have to support all genuine scientific research into a vaccine or other treatments, but call out any idiotic cures or theories we see going around. But within these restrictions we as Satanists (and I would argue ALL PEOPLE) should find ways to continue living as fully as possible and not allow ourselves to succumb to the feeling that meaningful life is over. We might be in this situation for a while, a long while possibly, and during that time we have to LIVE. So rather than be stupid, we have to be intelligently creative.

Another “sin” that LaVey mentions is “lack of perspective”. I think Anton Lavey was mainly concerned here about other Satanists doubting themselves because their beliefs and choices were so far outside the norm. While my liking and respect for science and sensibility are probably understood and accepted by a lot of people who don’t share my religious/spiritual views; my hedonistic desires are probably less commonly respected. It is safer for me to be open about my worries and my understanding of how science guides us in dealing with covid-19, than for me to say having fun is still equally important to me. Satanism encourages us to be ourselves confidently, knowing we won’t always fit in, and that others will not always understand, agree with, or accept us. We are what we are.

Of course the most important thing is balance. I had begun to forget where my centre of balance is and become consumed by intellectual fears and worries. Everybody’s centre of balance is somewhere different. Most people’s place of balance will not be in Satanism but mine is. Finding that centre of balance is not always easy (if it was, far fewer people would be fucked up so often). I would urge people to try and find their centre of balance and think about what that phrase means. For me it has a lot to do with being grounded. The thing that those of us who choose a left hand path understand is that for some individuals the “centre” might not be where the majority in society suppose it should be. But whether your centre of balance lies in Christianity or Origami, I think you will feel better once you find it.

Fast forward a few days and here I am in Berlin. So far my girlfriend and I have found enough enjoyable debauchery with each other that we haven’t needed to venture further afield yet; but we probably will at some point. We are wicked women (in many people’s eyes) but understanding and accepting who and what we are, keeps us sane. She has been closer to the virus than many. She is a nurse and has been working with Covid patients under many layers of uncomfortable protective equipment for the last few months. (This was one of the things that forced us to keep apart for a while even after the lockdown restrictions had been relaxed). Probably many of the people whose lives she helped save would disapprove of her lifestyle if they knew.

Berlin is Berlin! In some parts of the city there is hardly any sign that Coronavirus happened. In other parts the ongoing restrictions and basic precautions like wearing facemasks are more obvious. The club scene in which she and I first met and got together is all but dead at the moment. There are some livestream internet events and some illegal parties (which we wouldn’t attend) but the hot, dark and smoky club scene we used to be part of, is in hibernation. It is sad. But other life goes on and we will find our own ways to recreate the pleasures we enjoyed and help bring more aspects of the old life back again. And in between debauchery I am preparing myself for a return to university in Vienna after the summer. Even university will be changed with much more work online and my year abroad on an internship has been postponed indefinitely…

But we have to cope with these things. On the depressing side, I have accepted coronavirus as a fact of life for the time being. People who think it is nearly over are dreaming. The reality might be that we are still closer to the start of this thing than the end of it. There will be further infection spikes. There might be more long term lockdowns. Travel might be frequently interrupted.Long term plans mean nothing at the moment. Sadly, more people are going to die. None of us are immune (so it seems so far) so we have to be careful. It will be a challenge, maybe it is the biggest challenge of our generation.

The challenge is not just to stay alive and exist through the next months and years (although that might be challenging enough for some)  but to actually LIVE our lives and our truths. In any case that’s what this Satanic woman is going to try and do.


Block Editor

Here is a little plea from me to Woprdpress since it seems to be impossible to get feedback any other way.

Please don’t force everyone to use your new “block editor”. It’s awful.

My blog is small and not seen by many but I enjoy doing it. The present interface and editor are fine, similar to word and similar programs I use. So I can concentrate on what I want to say, add a photo or two and publish. Nice and easy. 🙂

I had a look at the block editor as I was invited to. There is not a single aspect of it that I understand, and I am not a stupid person. I don’t want to have to take a degree in publishing formats before I write future posts.

I came to wordpress to write a personal blog; not to earn money or start a business. Make the block editor available to those who find it useful (I have no idea who that would be) and let the rest of us continue to write as normal.

Thank you.

George Floyd; Racism In America

Lots of people are expressing their views about George Floyd and the race riots that are happening in America. I am under no illusion that my own views make much difference to anybody or anything on this matter. However, I do think that “silence” always implies some form of agreement or at least acceptance about what is going on. I don’t agree or accept it.

The murder of George Floyd was cowardly and evil and more evidence of a huge social and racial problem at the centre of America. I think (and have seen evidence) that some of the violence, looting and rioting that has happened since then was started by extrme right wingers and Trump supporters. But of course some people of colour have themselves instigated violence. I don’t condone that or think it will help, but I can understand the frustration that lead to it.

I admit to being a quite priviledged, white, Swiss woman living a relatively comfortable life in Europe. I can hardly imagine the conditions and prejudice that many black people in America have to put up with daily. But I think those of us with any power at all have to stand behind the people who are suffering and, at the very least, show our support for them. We must end instutionalised racism and make racists feel as welcome as cancer or coronavirus. Racism is an evil that must be rooted out and destroyed.

Living with Mum and Mum.

I left home nearly two years ago to go to university. I have an apartment in Vienna and during the past year have also spent a lot of time sharing an apartment with my girlfriend in Berlin. I am used to my own space and living by my own rules. While I try to be a good student, I also like to have fun. There are a lot of things going on in my life that many women my age would be embarrassed to share with their parents. But then Coronavirus happened and for reasons that I have detailed previously in my blog, I find myself living in lockdown back in my old home in Zurich; together with my mother and her partner Cassie. So what is that like?

Living with Mum and Mum is a good title but to be honest it is more like living with older sisters; or friends even… Do we argue and fight? Sometimes, yes; I doubt that there are many people in lockdown who don’t argue sometimes… What do we argue about? Probably the same silly things all people argue about sometimes; what to watch on TV, who’s hogging the bathroom, who should be doing the laundry… And we each have things that we are especially guilty of… I can be a bit messy around the house and I have a tendency to steal lighters and cigarettes if I see them lying around. Cassie gets worked up over political things which can put her in a bad mood. She has also been known to steal my clothes! Sophie (my actual mother) tends to get short tempered when she is concentrating on work or her painting and we interrupt her. And if there is any food lying around she will eat it and pretend it wasn’t her until we catch her in the act!

But overall, we get on together very well indeed. Yes we are frustrated with the lockdown (although that is being relaxed quite a lot in Zurich at the moment) but we actually enjoy each other’s company and like being together most of the time. I can honestly say that even if we were not related I would choose to spend time with Sophie and Cassie; they are my soul-mates.

It has become more clear than ever to me that our beliefs and our lifestyles have a hugely important part in uniting us. There are two things in particular. Most importantly the fact that we are all Satanists is very helpful. Becuase of our Satanic beliefs we allow each other a lot of freedom and “expect” each other to challenge various  boundaries. We are not shocked by each other’s choices or behaviour. Moreover I think we talk about philosophy more than most people do. We discuss the finer details of books and videos related to our beliefs. Often we have different opinions but that is what makes our talks interesting. We learn from each other. We do some rituals together and give each other space to do our own private rituals and meditations. The same goes for magic and witchcraft; we learn from each other, do some things together and also help each other to do our own individual workings. Without the lockdown I don’t think we would ever have had the chance to work this closely with each other in matters of Satanism and Witchcraft; and it really helps to bind us. What I have realised is that Satanism is what separates me from being a Humanist. I have a lot of respect for humanism but the psychological effects of ritual and magic combined with the challenging and antagonistic attitude of Satanism give my beliefs and my life a depth I would not want to be without.

At the moment I am the only person in our household that isn’t having sex with another human; because my girlfriend is stuck in another country. Sophie and Cassie have each other while I have to make do with sex toys and “intimate” Skype calls! But the fact that we can talk openly about such things is kind of nice. It just so happens that we have turned out to have similar sexual preferences and identities. We are all bi or omni-sexual and we are all most deeply involved with other women at the moment. But the way we came to this, combined with our different ages and life experiences, gives us a lot to think and talk about. Sex is an everyday part of our lives that we think is normal. The fact that our rules and morals in relation to sex and relationships are similar and rooted in satanic philosophy is another bond between us and gives us the possibility to discuss some things much more openly than some families might be able to.

Sophie and Cassie are highly involved in the German swinging scene. I have to admit I’m curious and don’t rule out investigating that myself sometime in the future; but it seems a bit too organised for me at the moment. I prefer more spontaneous happenings but at this time, with Coronavirus and all the dangers and restrictions that involves, I have to be careful and think much harder about things I’d like to do than Libertines of the past probably had to. Being able to discuss these things with Sophie and Cassie has been very helpful.

Most of the time I call my mother by her first name. This is something we both agreed when I was eighteen and I joined a coven of my own. It sort of symbolised moving to a different kind of adult relationship; more like friends and sisters on the same path. Of course she is still my mum and in some situations I might call her that; but recognising each other as named, individual, adults has had a positive effect on our relationship since then. Maybe it is something other mothers and daughters could try when the time is right for them…

Cassie and I have always been friends more than anything else I think. But at the same time she is as much a part of my family as my mother or my father. Until recently I wasn’t able to see much of my father (except by video calls) because of the lockdown. It has been nice that in the last week, as things got more relaxed I was able to spend time with him too.

I might be able to go to Germany and spend time with my girlfriend next month. I hope I will get back to my apartment and my life in Vienna soon… I hate what Coronavirus has done to our world and our everyday lives. I am worried about what the new normal will be… But in many ways this unexpected time with Sophie and Cassie has been a blessing. It has given us the chance to grow together and separately in ways we couldn’t have imagined possible. It has been the silver lining in the cloud.


Windows to my soul

Music has always been very important to me and during the lockdown maybe more than ever I have been listening to all sorts of things. I did an oline quiz recently which was supposed to reveal my musical tastes and say something about my personality. It came to the conclusion I was completely genre blind! I quite liked that result. 😉 I would say I like all sorts of music from classical to hard rock. In the days when I was able to go to clubs I got heavily into hardcore psy-trance and techno, but on my own I am just as likely to listen to Beethoven. Anyway, as a fun thing to do I have made this post about things I have been listening to… I will leave it up to my readers to do the psychoanalysis.

(All the song titles are links to videos)

Devil Mood-Smoke City

Aurora-The Seed

Looking For The Rain-UNKLE

Symphony No.7-Beethoven

Das Spiel-Annett Louisan

Psy Demon-Happy Trip

Aquarium-Saint Sans

Grinderman (Nick Cave)-No Pussy Blues

Apocalypse-Cigarettes After Sex

All About What?T.A.T.U/Rammstein

Jazz Suite Walz Nr2-Shostakovich

BDZ-Gates of Hell

The Blue Danube- Johann Strauss V.P.O.

That’s all for now. There were a hundred or more other things I could have included, so maybe I will do another one of these one day.

Meanwhile, what do you think my musical tastes say about me?



Woman, Witch, Satanist, Scientist, Libertine, Socialist, Feminist: Me

This particular blog has always been about me. I intended it to be a kind of diary of university life from the perspective of a person who happened to be a Satanist. It always included my thoughts about other things as well. Sometimes I feel it should be more about Satanism itself, with more explanations of our beliefs… But there are so many people writing those sort of things already, and many of them are more knowledgeable than me. So I keep coming back to myself. But if that is the case, why should anybody else bother to read it?

Being yourself is important. For some people it is a struggle. Some people are pretty much forbidden to express their true nature. They may be in conflict with their family. They might be in conflict with wider society. They will sometimes be in danger of losing their lives just for being themselves. Their colour, their race, their ethnicity, their religion, their politics, their gender or their sexuality might go against the grain of those around them or those who are in power. Around the world everyday people die; people are killed for daring to express themselves. Therefore I think those of us who have it relatively easy have a duty to be ourselves and help push doors open for others.

Moreover, during this time of lockdown together with Cassie and Sophie there has been a lot of time to meditate and reflect; and I have felt urged by the deities I believe in to re-evaluate and restate who I am and what I believe in. So this is a kind of re-boot.

I never really had to “come out” in any respect because I always knew those I loved would accept me no matter what. But perhaps because of that, I played it safe thinking that in areas where I was unsure or where there might be negative feedback I could leave things vague and people wouldn’t be tempted to criticise. Today I want to nail my flags to the wall.

I am a woman. I have never had any desire to be any other gender; it is not something I am confused about. It is something which is increasingly important to me. As I get older I understand better the history of injustice that goes along with being a woman. Being a woman for me is not just a matter of biology, it is also a matter of politics. I am a feminist. For me that means I support women and movements which promote equality and respect in all things for men and women. And I am and will be increasingly active in some of those campaigns.

I am bisexual. I am aware that I live at a time when it is much easier for people to express their true sexuality in romantic and sexual relationships; but it is still a work in progress. Freedoms and understanding related to sexuality are not equal throughout the world and I think we are all, to some degree, navigating new territory. Personally I am not sure which labels in the LGBTQ+ spectrum apply to me, and in any case I think such things can be very fluid. I’m presently in an open relationship with a woman who occupies similar territory to me on the spectrum. At this present time in my life I think I feel more confident in romantic relationships with other women, but in matters of pure sex I enjoy being with men as well. In any case I guess I could add the word polyamourous to the list of labels I identify with too.

I am a witch. I have been learning and practicing witchcraft since my early teens. I think witchcraft can be separated into various strands. First is psychology; learning how to manipulate your own thoughts and the thoughts of others to achieve and manifest specific results. Psychologists and hypnotherapists get degrees and earn money from doing this; for witches it is a core skill. The second strand is learning the lore of nature and using knowledge of natural remedies and drugs to bring things about according to your own will. Witches were in effect the first doctors and nurses and this is still part of what it is to be a witch. The third strand is more esoteric and revolves around using less understood (supernatural) forces of nature to manifest your will. Most magical workings combine elements of all three of these strands. I do these things.

My personal psychology and philosophy is based almost entirely on so called Left Hand Path principles which means two particular things to me. Firstly I start with myself and work outwards. Secondly I expose myself to all aspects of life that are seen as taboo and try to keep being myself even in the midst of the grittier and darker aspects of life. (This is a rather Tantric interpretation of the Left Hand Path, but it makes sense to me).

Philosophically and Non-Religiously I am a Satanist. Every Satanist is an individual and interprets and expresses their view of what Satanism is in a very personal way. Overall, I follow a path of Satanism that is closely related to, and influenced by, Anton LaVey’s reimagining of Satanism. I use the Satanic rules he outlined as a rough guide to life. I see Satan first and foremost as a symbol and personification of opposition and antagonism towards the mainstream religions and authorities of the western world and all the ways those forces try to control society and individuals. I also see Satan as my inner self and a symbol of the knowledge and power we can have if we free ourselves from religious dogma and false morality. Finally, and probably most controversially, I see Satan and other entities and demons as archetypal forces in nature which exist beyond our present understanding of the universe but can be called upon and worked with.

I think most morals and ethics in society are so skewed towards mainstream religious thinking that they are meaningless. I believe we all have to come to our own conclusions about what is right or wrong in particular circumstances. I doubt if there is any rule which can ever be true for all people in all situations. According to religions such as Christianity and Islam, I am evil because of my beliefs and lifestyle and I will go to hell. I don’t think I am evil. I admit to being amoral by their standards but I have my own values which mainly revolve around being kind and personally and socially responsible. I don’t give a fuck about the opinion of those who are so blinded by religion and tradition that they are unable to work out for themselves what is actually right and wrong.

Politically, I am left wing… My views are quite socialist or at least Social Democrat, which surprises some Satanists. I think government and society should be there to help people, otherwise there is no point in having such things. I think individuals are more empowered if the government tries to ensure that everybody has basic security. I think all people can contribute more to society if they are not crippled by disease or debt. I think having access to good healthcare and education should be basic rights, no matter what circumstances you are born into. Of course I think all people should be treated equally and without prejudice. In general I have a relaxed attitude to immigration; in most circumstances I think a steady flow of immigation and a mixing of cultures is a good thing. I think rich, western countries should do more to help refugees; especially where those countries have played any part in destabilising the parts of the world the refugees come from.

Bringing my spiritual and political views together is the figure of Lilith. I find I am more and more facinated and devoted to her as a symbol and archetype of female wisdom and empowerment. As with Satan, I try to allow her nature and power to guide me.

I am an unapologetic hedonist and libertine. When I am not working or studying I try to experience and enjoy every kind of pleasure. In my vices and passions I feed both the light and dark aspects of my soul and personality without reference to what other people think is good or bad, right or wrong. I have no desire or ambition to be anybody’s rolemodel. I am not a sweet and innocent Disney princess. I smoke and swear and drink and sometimes use other recreational drugs. However, I also value moderation and I think there is a balance to be found between freedom to enjoy pleasure and what is good for your health. I sometimes make choices that others wouldn’t, but I accept the consequences of that.

Despite my libertine instincts I am even more devoted to science and learning (and I moderate my behaviour to ensure I can do my best in those fields). I want to be a vet specialising in animal conservation, but beyond that, I am interested in all the sciences and how things work in general. I am pretty ambitious and I have a clear idea of how I will make my living and what my lifestyle will be like. I think it’s important to have that sort of picture in your mind and to be able to set goals; even if they have to be adapted sometimes.

I have an idealistic vision of how the world could be. Again, I think it is important to visualise goals… What if we didn’t have to worry about basic things like having enough food to eat and having a roof over our heads? What if we were not judged or held back because of our race, our gender, where we live, how we live and enjoy ourselves? What if we were not dominated by outdated religious beliefs and morals?  Then maybe we could devote the bulk of our time to pushing the boundaries of knowledge… To curing disease… To protecting the world and it’s environment… To making life better for ourselves and everyone else… To discovering how the universe works… To exploring the other worlds in our Solar System and beyond… To progressing as a species…

In other words, the simple motivation and inspiration behind my beliefs and lifestyle is the idea that it will ultimately be better for all of us and will help humanity to progress as a species. Each one of us can play a small part in bringing about a better future.

So for those wondering if they can dare to be themselves. For those thinking they should “come out” in one way or another; take heart. You are not alone. You are one of many.

Twenty Something

So today I am Twenty. In some ways I feel older than I should. The world I grew up in has changed rapidly in the last few months in ways nobody would have predicted. Hopefully I will be part of the generation that rebuilds things. Maybe we will rebuild some things very differently.

The last year has taught me a lot about myself and what I think about things. It has also taught me something about the world and my place in it.

I always thought I was non political. I’m not. I live in a world that is being run by idiots, racists, xenophobes and people who treat their own money and the economy as if they were gods. As far as I can see the world economy is based on a mutually agreed fairy-tale about who owes what to who and who controls the value of gold and oil. None of it is real.

I am a socialist in so far as I value people above things, and believe what wealth and security there is should be distributed more fairly. I believe the Coronavirus has shown us very clearly who are the most important members of society, and it isn’t bankers, businessman or politicians. It’s health workers, teachers, farmers and shopworkers.

I’m a feminist. There are so many definitions for that word it can get confusing. Put simply I think women and men are worthy of equal pay for equal work, equal opporunities and equal respect in all ways and all things. The main complication is that it hasn’t been that way for women for a long time and there is a lot of catching up and mental adjustment to be made by women and men.

I’m a Satanist. It is not the only thing I am, but it is at the core of my personality. I could just say I’m a humanist philosophically and intellectually, but Satanism gives me an extra edge… I challenge taboos and conventions. I’m against tradition, blind faith or religious thinking. I like to provoke. I like to ask the ‘what if?’ questions.

I’m a hedonist. I like things which make my mind and body feel good. I like to enjoy myself without guilt (especially the kind of guilt society has incorporated from religious thinking and ideas).

Yet I’m also a bit of an activist. I do what I can to help and support people and causes that mean something to me. So I play hard and I work hard too. I believe both are important.

Last year’s birthday couldn’t have been more different. I was in Berlin. I started attending the Kit Kat club as often as possible. I got interested in new music, new drugs and a new type of sex life. I met someone who became my girlfriend. For the most part it has been an extremely fun and enjoyable year.

But now things couldn’t be more different. This birthday I was at home on lockdown with Sophie and Cassie. The only connection between my girlfriend and I was via skype and a selection of sex toys she mailed me to try out! But still it was nice. There was wine and presents. Reaching my twenties during the Corona lockdown will be an important memory…

We live and we learn.

I’m healthy despite my smoking and other naughty habbits. I hope I’m lucky enough to stay that way.

This birthday and these days have taught me to really value the basic things. The love of my family and friends is worth more than all the money in the world. I have food to eat, good food too… My body works. My mind works. I have a comfortable home and the ability to make my talents and interests work for me.

Who knows where I will be or what I will be doing when I’m twenty one? I hope I will look back at this birthday and realise that being literally grounded was a good position to start building from.

Keep Our Scenes Free from Bigotry

The following linked post was written by a friend of mine.


I used to be a bit of a metal head. Now, in between a lot of classical music, I am more into dark psy-trance and an eclectic mix of alternative and indie music. Most of the scenes I mix in are open and welcoming to people of every racial, sexual, cultural, ethnic, age and gender type. But we must be on our guard.

The kind of Satanism I follow celebrates diversity as much as individualism and personal responsibility. There are however a small number of individuals and groups who pollute Satanism with bigotry. We must call them out every time and clearly disassociate ourselves from them.

Home with family.

This will be a short update. As the Covid 19 situation gets worse and closes in around us my family and I decided it was unacceptable to be apart.

Cassie arranged for some coven friends of hers to drive me all the way from Vienna to the Swiss boarder with a suitcase full of everything I will need for the next few weeks. I then walked across the boarder to where my mother and Cassie were waiting to pick me up and drive me home to Zurich.

I will miss Vienna. It’s a great place and I have a lot of friends there now. I hope I can go back soon. But I was worried about my family and they were worried about me and we came to the joint decision that we could easily overcome that worry and stress by being together. I can continue my studies remotely from Zurich as easily as I could in Vienna.

Sadly I think all people in the world will probably have much bigger things to worry about over the next few weeks.

The lockdown in Zurich seems slightly more relaxed than it was in Austria at the moment, but everyone is behaving and nobody really has physical contact with anyone apart from the ones they are living with. There is plenty of food and people separate themselves on the streets and the supermarkets.

To my readers and followers, please stay home and stay safe.