So this is the first post on this blog written by me. My writing in English is not so good as Leonie so please forgive me. But it is a good experience for me to improve my English so I will continue.
Leonie and I both did an online sex test. It is just a bit of fun, not too serious but we thought we would share some of our results as a bit of an introduction.
You can find the same test we did here. (Actually, no you can’t. Since we did this test about ten days ago the site seems to have been taken down. We will no doubt link to other tests in future blog posts)
So, here are our results…
Although we both switch roles often, I came out as 57% Submissive whereas Leonie was 55% Dominant. I guess that is true. In my work life I have a lot of responsibility and have to make a lot of decisions so when I’m relaxing (and sex is the most relaxing thing for me) I like to let go and let the other one(s) have control. Not always but often. I also like the little feeling of danger that comes from giving control away, which turns me on. In line with my overall Submissive sexual nature I scored highly as a masochist and restrainee (74 and 80%). I can tolerate some pain and quite enjoy finding and pushing my boundaries in that area. However, apart from a few scratches and rope burns I don’t like anything which leaves long lasting marks on me. I do really like being tied up in new and interesting ways; this is really a big thing for me at the moment.
Just in case it needs to be said, the things listed above (and I imagine all things we will speak of in this blog) are only okay when I give my consent. I have to consent to be submissive with each person, each time. Otherwise, if anyone so much as touches my skin without me fully consenting first, they will suffer badly. I think this is a theme we will probably speak of often in these pages… In all forms of sex (not just the BDSM aspects) everything must be safe, sane and consensual. In 2021 there is no excuse for being any other way. Also, whatever roles you are playing in the moment it has to be fully understood that all the people involved are equal in value and should be treated with respect.
Leonie is a little bit more the dominant one sexually. Maybe it is because of her name which means Lion! In the time that we have been together I have seen her grow more into this role and I find it satisfying. She does have some masochistic tendencies, but lower than mine on the test 53%. Yes, we both enjoy some aspects of bondage and switch roles often but Leonie is a little bit more comfortable in the role of restrainer than restrainee. She scored 51% sadist in the test, and just occasionally lets that part of her come out to play…
Neither of us like the roles we play sexually to go through to other parts of our lives. One of our friends is a complete submissive and enjoys playing that part in all aspects of her life. Her partner is a dominatrix in all aspects of their lives and keeps our friend as a kind of pet. Both of them are happy and satisfied with this arrangement. I understand that this kind of relationship works well for some people and as long as everything is consensual I have no problem with it. I think people should do what makes them happy. However, I could never imagine Leonie or I in that kind of relationship and it is not a lifestyle that would turn either of us on. To be honest, I think it can be dangerous; but each to their own…
Leonie and I both scored very low on monogamy, (19 and 23%). I think the percentages are a bit silly but it is true. Personally I just have never thought that one type of relationship with one person should prevent you from having a similar or different relationship with another. I think we should be moving away from the idea of ownership, of claiming other people as our own. And also in pure sex I sometimes just like being with more than one person at a time. Therefore I don’t want to lie to my partner about it. Leonie has a similar way of thinking. But both of us would also agree that these things are flexible and there can be times when our needs and feelings will change. In the meantime, the fact that Leonie and I also sleep with other people does not mean we love or care for each other less. Actually it helps us to understand each other and it makes our sex lives much better. It also gives us a lot to talk about.
I suppose the fact that we are writing this blog is proof that we are both exhibitionists! (We both scored over 70% for this aspect). We met in the Kit Kat Club where we were both dancing half naked in front of hundreds of others. And of course the clothes we were wearing were mainly fetish gear advertising our tastes and our lack of inhibitions. This is part of who we are. We are lucky that there exist places like Kitty where we can express ourselves freely. Sadly, because of Coronavirus, Kitty is closed at the moment apart from some online activities. I hope they survive and our favourite venue comes back to real life. Neither of us are embarrassed by nakedness or by being interested in sex. Allowing people to see glimpses of us as sexual creatures is something we like. In a way this blog is like a psychological version of dancing naked; we are giving people little snippets of our sex lives. In reality we don’t give much away, but it is enough to get people interested. I suppose it is a kind of power game that we both enjoy.
We both scored highly in the 60s and 70s for voyeurism as well. I think it comes from basic curiosity. We both like to know and see how other people enjoy themselves sexually. And between ourselves, with each other, this feeling is intensified. Perhaps related to this we both enjoy porn… For me it is a turn on and sometimes educational. It gives me ideas.
It is not really a factor in the test but we are both bi or pansexual. I think it is something that was always obvious to both of us. We both lost our virginity to men first but since then our lovers have been roughly equally divided between men and women. I have also had a transexual lover. We are both most happy in the company of people who are not shy of their sexual identity (whatever it is) and even in simple everyday activities like visiting a café or going to the shops we tend to go around with people like that.
People like us.
So that was my first post in this blog. Really just a little more of an introduction. We would like to hear your thoughts, your comments, your suggestions and your questions about sex lives in the 2020s. Please remember this is a blog to talk about things, it is not a place to share porn. (There are plenty of other places where we can do that)! 😉
Take care and stay safe. Being sexually active or interested does not mean being stupid in dangerous times. Believe me, I’m a nurse! Be grown ups. 😉